Train of thoughts

I have a notebook filled with lifelessons. Filled with quotes, bits of knowledge, etc.


I'm thinking of something to discuss right now.


Let's see. How about the little things I want to be?


I want to be normal

All my life, I never felt completely normal. I felt crazy and uptight and not enough. I thought being normal means going to parties, which isn't really how life goes... Getting lots of guys while you're single, which isn't how life goes.... Bathing in all the luxuries you can afford, which isn't how life goes.

Maybe I'm blinded with perfection. Blinded with a false imagery of perfection brought by the media. False advertising.

I was infatuated with luxury. But when you think about it, life is actually great just the way it is. I don't need to cam-whore to show the world how happy I am.


I want to be a Philosophy freak

The thing about Philosophy is that it's universal. I'm reading "Sophie's World" by Jostein Gaarder right now. And so far, I've learned about the three major Philosophers of their times... Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle.

I know I'll bore you with the nerdy knowledge im about to impart, but well, I love Socrates the best.

Socrates is goddamn ugly. He spent his life asking questions. He was said to be the wisest man alive and he died for his principles. Plato was the good looking student. Aristotle was Plato's student and gawd.. was he mean or what.

The thing about Aristotle though is, he believed that happiness and harmony can be achieved through moderation and balance. Spending too much is flamboyant, spending too little is miserly. Spending just enough is enough.

More on the stupid Philosphy shit soon.

More on me. It's just that, I've devoted my life to learning. I've known this since I learned to read. I love to learn. I want to learn about life. I dont know how to organize my train of thoughts and aquired wisdom... but maybe that's my goal in my attempts at writing.

Either way, a Philosophical outlook on life would be great. Why? Because you let your brain do the thinking and not your emotions. As we all know, emotions are completely unstable.

It's almost taboo!


I want to be happy.

Don't we all? The thing is, I've got a great shot of being happy. I had a boring childhood. Not a bad one... people with bad childhood grows up miserly. A great childhood's ok. But a boring one's better. Because you grow better than before. I was bullied back then, you know. And now I'm appreciating life bully free.

(OMG. Lookie! I'm optimistic!)


I want to stop pleasing everyone.

Not literally PLEASING everyone, like being nice and shit. I've no problem with kindness. I have a balanced amount of good and evil in my body, that I'm barely worrying about too much kindness and too much meanness.

Maybe it's got to do with morals. Maybe. But I know it's got to do with the social hierarchy I'm "on top" of.

I have a great reputation. I'm the girl they envy. (Why hello ego!)

I don't know what to do with this yet. If you do, please tell me.