Boys and friendship

I will be turning 19 this September, and I've got to confess that I've never learned to actually just be friend with boys until just recently.

I had my first actual boy bud when I was 18! How the fucking awkward and stupid is that?

I mean, I had guy friends, yeah... but I was never really comfortable around them much.



Boys have always been enigmatic to me. Mysterious. Complicated. And most of all, they are different from us girls by lightyears.

They are the others.

Any contact with the boys back then always had "malice". Even just brushing shoulders or legs together made me feel "too close". Everyone had potential for me to fall in love with. Seriously. Everyone!


Well, what do you expect? I was a complete loser in my gradeschool days. My interaction with the other sex was limited in highschool (me=catholic all-girl's school HS graduate). My first two years in college was spent in restriction from being too friendly with guys lest X gets jealous. That pretty much sums up my reasons for finding the alternate gender still mysterious. And I've only got two more years to build up wonderful friendship with the boys at school.



And that's something I dont think I'd ever be able to actually confess in my real blog, lest turning me into a loser. I mean, I know everyone expects me to know boys well... I look likethe type who does, see. And there goes the road of public deception.