void

Marriage will not fill the void in your life 
Some people think that a loving spouse will make them whole, but that is far from the truth. One of the best things that you can do to prepare yourself for marriage is to work on you, before you say I do! 

(?)

Search for Happiness and Inner Peace like youre in a heartbreak

Forgive and love and cherish yourself.

Give up M. Please just give up. For your sake. Just give up. Please.

Remember this moment. You told yourself that if that anger shit ever happens again, you're just done. And it did. Now it's done.


You don't care about what the world thinks.
You no longer care about the investment.


Please expect the worst for you on his side. He's on his way to Zambales to get away from you. He will talk to you 6 months from now. You will very slowly remove every trace of togetherness and you just cant and wont be able to believe that you have for the past 2 years spent it lovingly with this man.

He will have a girlfriend, he will be happy.

It doesn't matter if you're pretty. See how many other pretty girls are out there.

What matters is for what's left of you, the tons of it, you will be happy with it. You will continue growing and you won't stop loving the people around you.


You will no longer have all those anxious months.


There is no doubt that you have loved each other as much as you could... But if it's not working, it's not working.





Please give up. Please lose your phone. Please don't facebook for a week. Please celebrate your birthdays with your family.

Please love yourself. Love will flow freely from you. It's just not meant to be. Yes, you could have worked it out, but it's not worth the stress of everyday.

There is no anger, there should not be regret. There is NO regret.


If you remember this moment and start doubting yourself of your could haves... you have yielded to so many could haves before this that it just had to stop. You can no longer tolerate the pain of waiting and of not knowing.

He's fine, you're fine, you both loved completely, you're both tired. You're both wrong, you're both tired. You both said things you don't mean. You both still love each other as much as young hearts can... but you're both going to move on, because the relationship has become poisonous.

He's a good catch, and so are you.

love and freedom

Tonight I had a really nice conversation with a friend.  Ive been, obviously, very uptight with this relationship... I really had to talk a laidback person.

This friend I know is still madly in love with his girlfriend of 6 years. Madly. The secret? There's no need to talk everyday. No need to say I love you unless you feel the kilig. The quality time spend is better than quantity.

There is no pressure to tell where you're going all the time. They've started like this, and they're still like this up until now. It's the perfect relationship. I'm sure I'll be happy in a love with dynamic like this, with all the room to move, to love, and to grow.

I love you, L.

Im no longer afraid of being alone :)

Okay, so I'm addicted to group help sites:

I know and understand it's hard being on your own...I have done it!! Raised two kids and work full time...it's lonely at times but when you weigh up all the crap you take from unsuitable men...being single and going it alone is a dream.

It's so tempting to get into relationships hoping and dreaming it will all turn into something special, but if you come across as a little bit soft or needy or vulnerable, it's a green light for some men to take advantage.

God's Gift

I'm a hopeless romantic, love flowers (roses especially), write poetry, and am dying to learn to play the acoustic guitar so I can one day serenade my sweetheart.  Think of Edwin McCain's song, "I'll Be."

I sound great, don't I? But there is one catch!  I'm still a guy! And I drive my woman crazy! Now think of Brad Paisley's song, "I'm still a guy!"

Made my life worth living this link, to the point that I even handwritten it down so I remember it FOREVER.

Now, this brings me to the crucial part of this blog: unrealistic expectations.  This is probably the last thing you wanted to read about, but this is the issue many times ladies.  I have experienced this many times myself, especially because I'm a straight male psychic.  Most of my callers are female and ladies tend to be more relationship-oriented.  So if you want to make things work with your man, please take it from a guy who has been the victim of unrealistic expectations before.

• Understand that your man cannot always talk about his feelings. He might need more time to process them. Forcing him to talk doesn't get you a more 'honest' answer.  It makes him resentful for being nagged.

• If your man makes time in his schedule for you, express yourappreciation.  Life moves fast these days.  He might be moving mountains just to spend a few hours with you.  Your appreciation will motivate him to want to make more time for you.

• Let him earn money and work. Nothing messes with a man's self-image then not having constructive work or not earning his own way.

• If he has children from a previous marriage/relationship, don't interfere with his devotion to his children.  Wanting to be a part of their lives is one thing, but don't place yourself in direct competition with his children.  There are very few good fathers out there.  We need all the support we can get.

Imperfections are fine

Tonight I realized I'm making this relationship harder for us than it should. He's not perfect, no, but I'm being absolutely frigid.

Sometimes he feels so cold, but normally it's nothing.  But then I'd have all these thoughts in my head. All these fears and insecurities and assumptions.

It's always him..... his fault. How about that I can be so anal? That I can be so--as much as I protest to say this-- I can be so clingy.

I'm thinking, I have an amazingly perfect dad and mom, there's no way I can be NOT amazing and perfect. But there it is. I have dents and issues. I'm clingy and uptight and insecure.

Aren't we all.

Why can't I accept that relationships are not perfect?

Maybe because I always see failed, unhealthy relationships everywhere and I'd always say to myself "hell freezes over before that happens to me."

Then now I realize, those people, with the imperfect relationships are just like myself. Like love is a raffle, but you might as well as get used to and maximize whatever it is that you have.

I hate it when my dad sees me cry. I know he'll do anything in his power as not to see my cry, and he cant do anything because some doucebag is making me cry.

i love you.

youre not making me anxious.. I'm making me anxious.

Poem

Our love is so corporate
So many have loved
as we have
Yuppy dreams
Jaded
Sane desire
Hormones
Barred by youth, fueled by youth,

Its like a manual
Only my heart is breaking everytime
because I can't control you
I can't have you completely
and you can't have me completely

But you love me so dearly
As fueled by youth
Barred by youth

The sex is good
as youth would have it

And I want you
Forever. And now.
Maybe just now
Maybe forever
Maybe just forever, not now.

I want it forever, but its just now
Let it be the will of the force
Not ours
as much as our kiss
Is perfect

perfect perfect
Heart breaking
now.

Where are you now, M?

Hi M,

You haven't written in a long time. It's mid 2012 and your last post is 2011.
Your words are rusty. Your tempo is unsteady. Your poetry stutters and fails. (Ech.)


You got a boyfriend, you've had sex, and he's all you ever said he would be in the last post.

Ofcourse he still isn't perfect. No one is. You aren't, that's for sure. Not just your past, but until now.

We will never really be satisfied, will we. I don't know what else could be missing. If he acts this way, I'd want him to act the other way. If he acts the other way, I'd want him to act like something else. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself.


I don't want to get drunk anymore. I don't know where I'll be getting the words. I don't know what will make me high now.

Something new ofcourse. Travelling. Yes, travel gets me high.

Maybe people in general aren't always exactly happy. Maybe all of us are like that. Maybe it's these pre and post midnight lunacies that thrusts the word out of me. Thrust.

I need things in my life. A lot of things. I need my friends. I need my boyfriend. I need my family. I need my yoga. I need my books. I need my sleep. I need my trusty kikay kit.

Hi dear diary. I think I might be back.