Letter

Dear Lover,

There is always that doubt if you do love me. I know that you do. Maybe even very much so. But the coldness pierces. Its like every aloof line drives me away from you.

It's perfect actually. Us.

I just don't know how to deal with the frowns and the grunts. It's like, what's the use if I can't make you smile. That's why I'm here for anyway.

I love you. I very much do. Possibly more than I ever did the exie. It took me years to establish great love for him, and you got it in a month's time. Maybe even much so.

I never want to change you. I'm sorry if I changed. I'm sorry if I'm not the girl you were friends with. Sucks, I transform when I turn into a girlfriend. You add girl to the once friend. I hope you don't mind.

Love.

Is this love love?

How can a lot of people have all the right words and I don't seem to have any. Right words.

How come everything seems to be falling apart while other things are building up in place of it. How my friends are becoming more distant than ever, but my relationship, which I doubt will be lasting, but I wish will last long somehow, is flourishing.


How come I can't make this work?

Is there something wrong with our chemistry? :(



Can't I be happy?

Why am I so confused?


Why does "love" have to ruin my relationships?

I love you.

I don't know what to do anymore.


I'm just trying to establish this relationship. I dont want to be dominated, I'm not used to it. I'm never used to being in a fight with boyfriend. I'm so very not used with having a boyfriend who fights back.

Despite this, I love you. Maybe in some weird twisted sense, I love you better.

And when you love someone better, you're stuck.

:( I feel trapped. I don't know how to deal.

It feels miserable. :(

What's our love like?

Mutual.
I think of you a lot, and you think about me a lot. I look up to you and you look up to me.

Under construction
We are still establishing how things are going to work between us. It's still like walking in the darking and depending on the feel of things because the turns are yet to be familliar.

Compromising.
We are people on our own. I have my highs, lows, badsides and goodsides. But we do our best to make it other happy without sacrificing our own.

Doubtful.
I don't think we are each other's future and we know it. We can't even call each other true love just yet.

Temporary.
Our love is now. It is young. We're scared that we might not stand each other after sometime. We even stoop so low as to set an expiry date for our love.


I'm still not used to this I guess. You're imperfect, but I love you.

I can't pressure myself to love you, or even have sex with you, because with that we lose the magic.

Status: Girlfriend

The boyfriend is great aside from the fact that there are things about him I may never get to fully accept. The fact that he curses too much, he forgets his manners, and he's not as sociable as I wish him to be.

The fact that his body mass is twice the amount of mine.

The fact that his hands are callused.

The fact that I never get to control him, because I can't manage him. All the goodness from him is not something I manipulate. Its just how much he loves me.


And he loves me. Which I love the best about him, honestly. That sucks doesn't it. I love him because he loves me.

Why can't I love him for everything about him... just like he does to me?

I love him because he calls me a lot and worries.

I love him because I get to make him smile.

I love him because I calm him.

I love him because of his hugs.

I love him because of his goatee and because of the way he smells.

I love him because he makes me a bit worried from time to time.

I love him because he makes me feel special.

I love him because of the effort.

I love him because he make me kilig.

I love him because I can't get enough of him.

I love him very much because he respects me but finds me sexy. I love his struggle. It's cute and it's hot.

I love him because I'm his cutest girlfriend.


I really do love him because he loves me.