Nothing to prove

I can finally enjoy the little things in life and not be judged. Staying in bed. Poetry. Fashion. Drinking with anyone.

No longer anyone important to me who thinks that I'm not enough. Nothing to prove.


It's so weird that I'm happier. Being myself.


Weird too, that yeah, I guess I do love you.


It's done, baby.



I don't know why tears aren't coming, I'm thinking that maybe it's because I don't love you as much as I have to. But whatever, this has got to be better.


I can't feel any bitterness. There's this pang of hurt, yes. But so far its tolerable. Maybe the break up is yet to sink in. It happens. But I KINDA don't think that there will be that month of hiatus then the intense heartache again.


I just can't believe all the investments. Having my friends meet you, loving you, introducing you to my parents (which is inevitable because well we got caught), my reputation, the friendships I lost.

It was love.


And I'm not ready to invest as much again next time. But what's the use of being in a relationship if you don't invest anyway.


I don't want to be in one. Not right now. Maybe he'll get the next girl very soon, and we don't know when the next one will pop out either...


I can still smell his hands.


The hurt is not coming from just loving him, its from losing him. Its from the shattered dreams... the futile investments, its from the failure.


I think I'll just go love myself. Cheesy. But I didn't do much of that months earlier.


I cant be in a relationship right now.



P.S. The only reason I stayed is because you love me. The whole relationship, sadly, was based on Your love and not mine. I'm sorry I don't know how to fight.