Peaceful.

Well.

Authentically, I've never felt so peaceful. I'm honestly so out of love with this man, but he makes me feel so peaceful. So home.

I feel no attraction, really. Yes, weirdly after spending five years pining over him, I FEEL NO ATTRACTION. Of course I'm just wishing this is a phase, and I know it takes time, and besides I know that at the moment my heart belongs to someone else. Partly I'm still a little bit grabbing on to my last (and very recent) relationship, because I don't want to hurry. I don't want to fall in love yet.

I AM VERY SCARED.

I'm scared that he MIGHT NOT be the one.. and I'm scared that he MIGHT be the one.

I guess it's both fine. Maybe this is a rebound, and all that matters is I'm doing well right now. Very well. It's not very well like everything is just miraculously better... but I'm not tense and anxious anymore.. which is everything I've hoped for in my whole life.


.... Oh peace. I've been looking for you all over the world.

Kaya ko naman e. Pero ayokong kayanin.

I'm sure this time I can forgive him... but I wish I don't go back.