Happiness is hypocritical. It is in the desire of what we think makes us "happy" that we drift away from happiness.
Do not desire to be happy. You don't always need to be happy. Peace transcends happiness all the time.
Any addiction is bad for you. There is such thing as addiction to happiness that leads you to hurt.
Bhagavad-Gita: One who does not dwell on the desires of the mind, but finds satisfaction from within, is deep in knowledge. One who is undisturbed by misery, not craving happiness, free from attachment, fear and anger, is a sage of steady mind. One who is without affection for good or evil, meeting both without praise or blame, is secure in wisdom.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Things I learned and earned from breakup 2009
As I was distracted from my original trail of thought, here we go again:
It haunted me for 5 years... and I regretted having done it for 5 years. But now in the present I'm happy that I did gain myself. I wish it took a year to do it though and less hassle and heartbreak... but here we are.
I have rounds of friends who will be there for me.
I am not dependent on anyone, and I do hope from now on that I will never be.
I am closer to my family than ever.
I have seen the type of men out there and I know what I want and I know that they can be such scums that I'd hold precious a good relationship when I get it.
I am now "successful". And still aiming for independence and success. I will never quit my job when I get a family. Better yet I will have my OWN business.
And finally, I know I will get over anyone. Kung ikaw na get over ko, anybody else pa kaya. The sense of freedom is immensely beautiful and calming that I'm starting to believe I am happy WITHIN.
It haunted me for 5 years... and I regretted having done it for 5 years. But now in the present I'm happy that I did gain myself. I wish it took a year to do it though and less hassle and heartbreak... but here we are.
I have rounds of friends who will be there for me.
I am not dependent on anyone, and I do hope from now on that I will never be.
I am closer to my family than ever.
I have seen the type of men out there and I know what I want and I know that they can be such scums that I'd hold precious a good relationship when I get it.
I am now "successful". And still aiming for independence and success. I will never quit my job when I get a family. Better yet I will have my OWN business.
And finally, I know I will get over anyone. Kung ikaw na get over ko, anybody else pa kaya. The sense of freedom is immensely beautiful and calming that I'm starting to believe I am happy WITHIN.
2013
It haunted me for 5 years... and I regretted having done it for 5 years. But now in the present I'm happy that I did gain myself. I wish it took a year to do it though and less hassle and heartbreak... but here we are.
I don't know whether I'll be having a break-up or make-up the next few days. I know that a break-up would be nice. It'd be a vacation from the whole year I spent crying. But I also know that he's a good guy so yeah time for the "non-doing".
I spent the whole day getting better with the whole idea though. Yes, that's a whole day of salary for a clear mind. As of 8:42pm, I am magically calm. The facts are that a lot of people goes through this, has gone through this and the whole humanity will go through this helps. (thanks experienceproject.com)
Also I might as well as act differently now. I can't change him.. all I can change is myself. Maybe this will inspire a change in him, maybe it won't... but to change my actions at this stage is so much better than being the overbearing "better half" that I was being.
Also from reading "Women Men Love, Women Men Leave" I think I'm doing a good job. I am claiming what I know I deserve.
Also I love that Love was discussed there as a natural occurrence and not just some magic that happens to a handful of lucky people.
I don't know whether I'll be having a break-up or make-up the next few days. I know that a break-up would be nice. It'd be a vacation from the whole year I spent crying. But I also know that he's a good guy so yeah time for the "non-doing".
I spent the whole day getting better with the whole idea though. Yes, that's a whole day of salary for a clear mind. As of 8:42pm, I am magically calm. The facts are that a lot of people goes through this, has gone through this and the whole humanity will go through this helps. (thanks experienceproject.com)
Also I might as well as act differently now. I can't change him.. all I can change is myself. Maybe this will inspire a change in him, maybe it won't... but to change my actions at this stage is so much better than being the overbearing "better half" that I was being.
Also from reading "Women Men Love, Women Men Leave" I think I'm doing a good job. I am claiming what I know I deserve.
Also I love that Love was discussed there as a natural occurrence and not just some magic that happens to a handful of lucky people.
Monday, February 18, 2013
I'm so scared of leaving you and finding you with another girl. And this one you're not afraid to show her to the world. And this one you're not afraid to show that you love her. THIS JUST BREAKS MY HEART TO PIECE PIECE PIECES.
I wonder which hurts more though... when I was replaced immediately, and this girl got EVERYTHING I HAD. Or when I get replaced a the new girl gets EVERYTHING I WANTED.
Because I know of how much love you can give. Ive been there. I used to swim in all your love.
I wonder which hurts more though... when I was replaced immediately, and this girl got EVERYTHING I HAD. Or when I get replaced a the new girl gets EVERYTHING I WANTED.
Because I know of how much love you can give. Ive been there. I used to swim in all your love.
Maybe I just don't have what it takes to keep a man. To get him to love me forever. Maybe because love is extremely unstable anyway.
We all have this hopes for happy ever after. Or even just a decent-ever-after. But we all also feel hopeless. Maybe some does and some don't. Obviously, at the moment, I do.
How can someone who used to give me the sun and the moon now despise me. How can he now be so unresponsive and unrespective of me. I can list a whole load of reasons why he won't. Mostly because I am weak, and I let this happen. Also maybe we just aren't compatible of each other no matter how much I want it to work.
Part of me thinks that the only way I can save myself is if I break up with him. I know I deserve better. Where is this sense of entitlement coming from? Is it because I'm a pretty young girl? Is it because my parents loved me and told me so? Is it because of the magazines I read?
Why am I letting love play such a fucking big role in my life? All these men coming around breaking my heart, really seriously breaking me to pieces. And human beings do it all the time. Break each other's hearts.
How is it that men can hurt me so much. I'm very scared of being a Kris Aquino and a Taylor Swift. So desperate for love but never having it. But honestly, it does sound like me. Maybe it sounds like me right now. Because I remember a lot of times when Love is staring me at the face and I keep on just playing with it and throwing it away.
Yeah I do remember the days that I was so afraid of love... and now that I'm where I am now, no wonder people are afraid to love.
And it's a wonder they even ever do it again.
We all have this hopes for happy ever after. Or even just a decent-ever-after. But we all also feel hopeless. Maybe some does and some don't. Obviously, at the moment, I do.
How can someone who used to give me the sun and the moon now despise me. How can he now be so unresponsive and unrespective of me. I can list a whole load of reasons why he won't. Mostly because I am weak, and I let this happen. Also maybe we just aren't compatible of each other no matter how much I want it to work.
Part of me thinks that the only way I can save myself is if I break up with him. I know I deserve better. Where is this sense of entitlement coming from? Is it because I'm a pretty young girl? Is it because my parents loved me and told me so? Is it because of the magazines I read?
Why am I letting love play such a fucking big role in my life? All these men coming around breaking my heart, really seriously breaking me to pieces. And human beings do it all the time. Break each other's hearts.
How is it that men can hurt me so much. I'm very scared of being a Kris Aquino and a Taylor Swift. So desperate for love but never having it. But honestly, it does sound like me. Maybe it sounds like me right now. Because I remember a lot of times when Love is staring me at the face and I keep on just playing with it and throwing it away.
Yeah I do remember the days that I was so afraid of love... and now that I'm where I am now, no wonder people are afraid to love.
And it's a wonder they even ever do it again.
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