Maybe I just don't have what it takes to keep a man. To get him to love me forever. Maybe because love is extremely unstable anyway.

We all have this hopes for happy ever after. Or even just a decent-ever-after. But we all also feel hopeless. Maybe some does and some don't. Obviously, at the moment, I do.


How can someone who used to give me the sun and the moon now despise me. How can he now be so unresponsive and unrespective of me. I can list a whole load of reasons why he won't. Mostly because I am weak, and I let this happen. Also maybe we just aren't compatible of each other no matter how much I want it to work.

Part of me thinks that the only way I can save myself is if I break up with him. I know I deserve better. Where is this sense of entitlement coming from? Is it because I'm a pretty young girl? Is it because my parents loved me and told me so? Is it because of the magazines I read?


Why am I letting love play such a fucking big role in my life? All these men coming around breaking my heart, really seriously breaking me to pieces. And human beings do it all the time. Break each other's hearts.


How is it that men can hurt me so much. I'm very scared of being a Kris Aquino and a Taylor Swift. So desperate for love but never having it. But honestly, it does sound like me. Maybe it sounds like me right now. Because I remember a lot of times when Love is staring me at the face and I keep on just playing with it and throwing it away.

Yeah I do remember the days that I was so afraid of love... and now that I'm where I am now, no wonder people are afraid to love.

And it's a wonder they even ever do it again.