Selfish

I'm so deluded that I've allowed myself into comtemplating that Mk may be the NL. The infamous NL that I've quit pursuing.

It was just more or less 2 hours of frenching, cuddling, touching, and swee tongueing and I'm all over him.

Fuck.


I'm selfish. I know I can and I did.


My mom may be having an affair with someone and that someone is soo selfish that he wouldn't care less if he's ruining a family. Think of all the emotional investment. She's built her life around us. Why is it so easy for a guy to just snag her away.

It's because he can.

I do it to because I can.



I'm selfish. I make L cry. I go for him when I want to kiss. I went for J before because of the promises of glory and convenience through his ill-advertised wealth. I kissed J despite the fact that he has a girlfriend. I kissed another Male1 despite the fact that he already is an affair with a close friend of mine. I kissed my 2nd kiss even if I knew he had a girlfriend too. I am going after L's ex even if she's already warned me and almost as much as sworn to leave me for that. Well she didnt, but you get my point.






I dont want to ruin a relationship. It's fucking sick.



And I just know that he'll end everything tomorrow. The MK, the could've been NL.