Dear J,

You are the biggest asshole I've met all my life. Possibly the worst I'll ever get to meet. If you have to know (which you don't) the only reason I'm still entertaining you is because no one else has come around. Which sucks, since true love won't be around until I've no idea. 23? 25? 28?

Sloppily yours,
M.


...


Dear M,

Stop looking for a boyfriend.

Spend your college life being friends with everyone. Girls and boys alike.



You are more entertaining and charming when you're friendly and not trying to attract. Besides, you're pretty and sexy just the way you are. You just need to lessen the effort. Discretion is key.


Lovingly yours,
M.