Crush

I'm leaving the original blog for a while. Not because I don't love her anymore and because I love you. Fuck. Why does this have to sound so much like infidelity?

...

Conversation between me and L

M: I'm going out with J. Yup. Despite the fact that he doesn't treat me well.
L: I don't like it.
M: But I like him. And maybe I need this.
L: M, Male Model has a crush on you. The Male Model has a crush on you.
M: I know.
L: There are a lot guys there who have crushes on you. Why are you settling for that asshole?
M: I know. (Sad face)
L: And if the rest of the M-Crushing population finds out, they'll get turned off.


It's true. There are guys who have crushes on me. Hello, ego!

But still, no one's actually pursuing me. There are lot's of prospects out there. And I know I just have to wait. But sometimes, I just wish I can take the matter in my own hands.


So maybe I am pretty. I mean, let's just saaay that I am. It's not enough. I have to converse properly and colorfully. I have to be fucking charming!

I'm loveable and I know it. J made me doubt my charm. N isnt helping much either. There are always people who pull you down. It makes me think that they are insecure of what I have. I felt this with B, the boy bestfriend, before, but I don't think that had anything to do with insecurity back then. Now I love B with all my heart.


(K, the friend, is so making me uncomfy. :( Shit. )