The Not

Part of the string of consequences I get from the errs I've accumulated from the past is that O, aka the Outlaw, is hesitating.

He hesitates because, in the first fucking place, he doesnt want a girlfriend anyway. In the second, fucking place, the main plan has always been myself and him as friends and nothing more.

But more than that, he does not want to be a part of my collection of guys who liked me in the first place. Of the guys I kissed in the building.


Can I blame him?



In my first fucking place anyway, I don't want a boyfriend too anyway. And I like being friends with him.

And I don't know if I can handle being girlfriends with a guy whose had all the effinng experience in the world with all sort of girls.


Can you blame me?



Either way, I am in no position to complain. Or even to be sad about this. Because given a choice to be with him and not, I'd rather not as stated from the reasons above.


If this were a normal cliche literature, I would've injected something in this line in the content of: "but who knows" or "but things can't be helped" and moer cliche`-lly "love or whatever you call this pyschological emotional phenomenon can find its way to you when you don't want to."